“What If…?” begs viewers to ponder the title question, but ends on a note that has fans wondering, “what went wrong?” From mechs to gunslingers to fatal animal attraction, this season throws everything at the wall and, unfortunately, nothing really sticks. While the highlights from the third and final season are obvious, but still not great, every other episode appears to be vying for the last spot on this list.
Without further ado, here are the episodes of “What If…?” season three ranked from worst to best.
8. “What If… Howard the Duck got hitched?” (Episode Four)
Howard the Duck (Seth Green) forming deep physical relations with a human didn’t go over well in 1986, and that hasn’t changed in the last 38 years. The human-duck love child of Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings) and Howard the Duck playing the role of a MacGuffin chased by the entire universe is a bizarre idea for an episode, and it doesn’t work at all. For one, given the comedic premise, episode four should be funny, but for some reason, it isn’t. Darcy and Howard are entertaining characters played by two great comedic actors in Kat Dennings and Seth Green, respectively, so why couldn’t these two muster one good laugh in the entire 30 minute runtime? Another reason this episode is the worst of the season is because of how tonally inconsistent it is. The episode jumps from The Grandmaster (Clark Gregg) wanting to use the child in an omelette to Kaecilius (Jared Butler) casting a spell to demonically possess it. The speed in which character motives jump from goofy to horrific would give even Ivan Vanko whiplash. “What If… Howard the Duck got hitched?” is not only the worst episode of “What If…?” season three, but the worst episode of the entire series.
7. “What If… What If?” (Episode Eight)
The series finale is a lazy conclusion that fails to ponder the question…“What if?” What could and probably should have been a complex philosophical debate about the role of The Watchers dissolves into a mindless “beat ’em up” filled with particle effects galore. To make matters worse, the way in which the heroes power themselves up to fight The Watchers is cheap. Instead of using their collective wits to outsmart these multiversal beings, they simply say magic words that apparently anyone can utter, that turn them into celestial-level cosmic threats. Adding insult to injury, the ending goes against everything the MCU has been teaching its heroes about messing around in this multiverse of madness – it’s a bad idea. Everyone from Spider-Man to Loki has sacrificed everything they hold dear because they meddled with forces beyond their control. However, “What If…?” decides to end on the exact opposite message – that imposing one’s will on reality is a good idea that can only end positively. This not only feels like a slap in the face to the struggles of more beloved characters, but the happy ending feels undeserved since Captain Carter (Hayley Atwell) and her gang did nothing to earn it. While there are still infinite ideas this show could continue to explore, with the unsatisfying way “What If… What If” ended, it’s probably for the best that this show is finally over.
6. “What If… The Hulk fought the Mech Avengers?” (Episode One)
The Avengers in mech suits fighting hulk-kaiju is not as entertaining as it sounds. Be it “Voltron,” “Power Rangers” or “Pacific Rim,” these shows and movies work for two reasons: the uniqueness of the robots and character dynamics — the exact aspects that this episode of “What If…” fails at. While Sam Wilson’s (Anthony Mackie) mech has his shield and Shang-Chi’s (Simu Liu) his 10 rings, the robots are pretty interchangeable. This lack of specialty makes the action scenes feel dull since everyone fights the exact same. Similarly, the lack of any sort of meaningful interaction between our heroes makes what’s happening inside the robots as boring as the outside. Other than Sam and Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), who hardly interact, none of the characters have any relation to each other and the writers do no work to build any kind of rapport between them. Because of this, these characters don’t feel like a team, just a random hodgepodge composed of whoever the showrunners could get in the recording booth that day. Since “What If… The Hulk fought the Mech Avengers?” is a dramatically inferior version of the genre it is taking clear inspiration from, it is one of the weaker episodes in “What If…?” season three by far.
5. “What If… The Emergence destroyed the Earth?” (Episode Five)
Episode five has a genuinely phenomenal premise that is let down by a miserable execution. Off the bat, this episode is ruined the second it starts because The Watcher (Jeffrey Wright) doesn’t stop running his mouth and spoils the ending — ruining any dramatic tension. More on the ending, Mysterio (Alejandro Saab) did not provide a big enough threat to justify The Watcher intervening, making the climax more infuriating than satisfying. Also, the episode does a horrific job of explaining why things are the way they are. Yes, the extension of disbelief is needed when partaking in any work of fiction, but in a world of ancient gods, evil sorcerers and alien empires, the show never provides a reasonable explanation for how a visual effects artist, whose biggest nemesis is a high schooler, took over the Earth. Further instances of baffling plot conveniences and aggravating character choices abound this episode, but are not worth getting into. Episode five is the worst-executed one by far but because “What If… The Emergence destroyed the Earth?” is such an interesting idea, it saves it from being dead last on this list.
4. “What If… 1872?” (Episode Six)
A Western adventure in the MCU provides all the fun it should, with one fatal flaw. While episode six is on the safer side in terms of its premise, it pulls it off well enough to make for an enjoyable watch. Kate Bishop (Hailee Steinfeld) perfectly lends herself to the archetypal gunslinger of a spaghetti western. Conversely, the way the episode connects Shang-Chi to the unfair treatment of Asian immigrants in the American frontier during the 19th century shakes up the familiar genre in an interesting way. Due to this added complexity, Xialing’s (Meng’er Zhang) motive to fight against racial oppression and for the American dream she and so many others believe in is understandable, while not needing to be over-explained. What holds this episode back, however, is of course The Watcher. His constant interference dilutes these stories into oblivious wastes of time since the heroes do not have to struggle or face dire consequences for their actions – The Watcher will simply hand them their win on a golden platter. In the end, “What If… 1872?” delivers a complex spin on a good idea that was unfortunately ruined by an obsessive narrator.
3. “What If… The Watcher disappeared?” (Episode Seven)
In typical “What If…?” fashion, the penultimate episode presents the best ideas of the season but saves the pay off for a later episode. The show’s odd obsession with Captain Carter makes a comeback but it isn’t as unbearable as how it was in season two. This is because she isn’t taking on the multiverse alone this time, but is surrounded by a lively cast of characters, the standout being, of course, Storm (Alison Sealy-Smith). Even though she doesn’t do much, simply getting more mutants in the MCU will always improve whatever movie or TV show they are in. While the return of one of the most pivotal X-Men is great, what carries this episode has to be Infinity Ultron (Ross Marquand). Being able to see a version of this character who has come to regret his actions after accomplishing his mission is compelling, and adds serious weight to a sometimes too silly series. With that said, “What If… The Watcher disappeared?” has great ideas and compelling character work that the series does nothing with.
2. “What If… Agatha went to Hollywood?” (Episode Two)
Episode two brings back the best aspects of “The Eternals” and combines it with two of the MCU’s most entertaining characters. Agatha Harkness (Kathryn Hahn) and Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani) would never have met if not for this episode, giving it some validity. Also, because these two are incredibly selfish individuals, they have a surprising amount of relatability between them that plays a major part in the third act. The return of The Celestials is another great addition to this episode since the MCU has yet to further explore them since the release of “The Eternals”. The only pitfall of episode two is merely the fact that it so blatantly sets up a more interesting sequel that will never happen – kind of like “The Eternals”. “What If… Agatha went to Hollywood?” is a good example of what the series should have done more of, pair up fun characters and explore the MCU’s larger mythos.
1. “What If… The Red Guardian stopped the Winter Soldier?” (Episode Three)
Even though this episode fails on the premise of “What If…?”, it is still the best episode of the season by far. This series is meant to showcase events that would never happen in the mainline MCU, however, Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier and Alexei Shostakov/Red Guardian (David Harbour) teaming up is exactly what fans will get in “Thunderbolts”. That said, episode three is a great Bonnie and Clyde-style outing that brings together two fan-favorite characters. After constantly getting undermined in previous projects, Bucky returns to his butt-kicking glory as the deadly assassin, the Winter Soldier. This characterization homecoming not only reminds the audience why they love him in the first place, but also allows him to be the perfect straight man to the goofy Red Guardian. Additionally, since these two are both super soldiers who work for deep-state organizations, the ways in which they change each other by fighting for what they believe in, as opposed to their directive, is not only natural, but compelling as well. Another standout from episode three is Bill Foster (Laurence Fishburne). Having him popping up as the larger-than-life Goliath is always a treat and his inclusion fleshes out a lived-in world filled with superheroes. The only negative aspect of this episode is that the Red Guardian’s communist jokes are too frequent, too drawn out and rarely funny, however, constant bad jokes are partly why this character is so likable. All of that said, “What If… The Red Guardian stopped the Winter Soldier?” still packs a super soldier-sized punch of pure fun to a less-than-great season.
While “What If…? season three had a couple of enjoyable episodes, overall, this series fumbled its way to an unsatisfying conclusion.
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Featured Image Courtesy of Marvel Studios
