Gift-giving is a timeless tradition that transcends cultures, occasions and relationships, serving as a meaningful way to express love, appreciation and thoughtfulness. As such, as we continue in our everyday lives, we may find ourselves confronted with many questions about our own approaches to gift exchanges.
For example: What do I get for my loved ones and friends? Is it OK to regift? What should my budget be? What do I want people to give me?
More and more each year, gift-giving seems to become increasingly commercialized. It is hard to escape advertisements for holiday sales on television, YouTube or social media platforms, and the constant bombardment of products can push the more flashy items into the front of our minds. However, sometimes we find ourselves confusing frequent exposure to what products we actually seek from the exchanging of presents.
Consider your own reactions when receiving presents. Say you love to bike to work every single day and often go on long bikes along the beach every weekend. Someone gifting you the latest model of electric scooter may not be making you feel special. While the gift is “cool” and valuable to some, it has no use or sentimental value to this hypothetical you.
When someone gives you a present that you have no use for, sometimes that item would be perfect for another person. Regifting, the act of giving a gift you received to another person, is often seen as taboo and rude towards the initial giver. A study published by the Association for Psychological Science in Psychological Science on the stigma of regifting proposed the idea that the issue has much to do with the values of the giver and receiver, respectively, and that in some cases, a receiver anticipates a worse reaction from the original giver if a gift is to be redistributed. Of course, these philosophies vary depending on the person and ultimately rely on adequate communication between exchanging parties.
Here arises yet another important thing to keep in mind this season: communication. Discussions about things like budget and quantity can often be hard to bring up, but taking intentional action can help people avoid awkward discrepancies in the balance of the exchange. Such questions make us consider if we give because we want to show appreciation or because it has become a social obligation.
At its core, a gift can make someone feel seen and valued by other people in their lives. While “it’s the thought that counts” is often invoked to defend poor choices, the sentiment reminds us that gift-giving should, at the expense of sounding sappy, come from the heart. Consider another scenario where two lovers who recently went on a long backpacking trip are celebrating the holidays. The gift of a handmade photo album or scrapbook remembering the trip would express deep love and acknowledge the importance of a wonderful shared experience; and while it may not be expensive, the album makes the other person feel seen.
It may be surprising to many to learn that gifting has real scientific value. Emiliana Simon-Thomas, Ph.D, science director of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, explains that the act of picking out, wrapping and watching someone receive a gift can activate oxytocin pathways in the brain that relate to trust and connection.
So, while not everyone has the budget to finance another person’s wish list of products and items, often times the most cherished things we receive are the ones that are specific to the connections we hold closest: the joke gifts that play on inside jokes or the small figurines we look at on our desks every morning. Although it can be scary to show people we care about them, we might all be better off reminding ourselves that any gift is made better by remembering why we give it in the first place.
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Featured Image via Adobe Stock
