Introduction
canvas notification – another assignment graded; another midterm to take; another essay to write; another thing to study for; more research to do; trying not to skip another class; another interview to prepare for; more summer internships to apply for; more of trying to figure out what I want to do with my life; more attempts to go to the gym; more club meetings to go to; just a never-ending to-do list that just grows and
grows and
grows
the lifeless buildings loom over us as if we were diminished to minuscule, insignificant ants
like that dreary gray waffle building that brings no feelings of warm recollection, only reminding me that I have yet to eat lunch
countless people hustling by, eyes down, headphones in, just trying to get by in any way they can
the temptation to run away forever to the mountains tugs on my heart with great force
yet here I remain chained to the responsibilities of life
but there are tiny glimmers of hope in hidden spots
where the to-do list fades
the light shines through the leaves of the trees
the birds hum songs of joy, love, peace, sorrow
the greedy little squirrels scurry around searching for any bit of food they can find
And the noise of everything else somehow goes away
Sage Hill
I sit there and watch
watch as the green bulbs give way
to blooming flowers
as the gentle light
of the sun
peers through a dark
cage of branches
I stand there
and I wonder
how those branches got up there
to places I have yet to discover
and probably never will
But how I long to see
tails of white bundles of cloud
painted on cerulean skies,
to see the things that
only appear in my dreams
from up high
the air around me is cool
and feels like
a soft gasp of breath
blowing past me as
I sit there on a rock wrapped in moss
and I watch
thankful for the pleasant shade
that the towering trees provide
free from the sun
free from the clouds
free
my heart pounds and my legs grasp
the unstable forest ground
while violent winds try to carry me away
I look up and all I can find is a tall mountain
looming and ominous
I stand there and I wonder
what is up there
but all I can do is dream dream dream of
what is beyond the cover of darkness
I sit there as the birds fly
making a loud but gentle cry
here I remain
looking up at the sky wondering
how wonderful it would feel
to be as free as a bird
able to go anywhere
I sit there and dream
of a purple sky with the sun on the horizon
waving its temporal goodbye and how
I wish
I wish
I wish
but I–
my hand comes down with
a swift yet sudden movement.
“Stupid ant.”
Botanical Garden
I sit here at a small picnic table
reading
pondering
as the glare of the sun
makes me squint
and retreat into the shady corner
under the protection of the umbrella
I heard a small voice laughing
it was the kind of laugh
that was too small to know
of the brokenness of the world
but big enough to know
what pure joy was
light and carefree
A small child ran along the dirt path
calling out after his mother
I smiled a little
knowing that there was a time
when I used to be like that
it was a time when I used
to love with all my heart
instead of keeping my guard up all the time
because I was afraid to let go and trust
to laugh with all my chest
instead of controlling it
because I though my laugh was stupid
to smile with all my teeth showing
instead of just turning the corners of my mouth up
because I was afraid to look stupid
to find joy in all the little things
instead of saying everything was “just ok”
because I thought complacency was easier
than having my high expectations be let down
I sit here at a small table
and the sun shines on my face
and the creek rolls on by
and the flowers dance in the wind
joyful
smiling
laughing
Sunken Gardens
the pale wisps of fluff
up there in the sky
clump together
to create a land of enchantment
there’s
a giraffe slowly sipping
from a strawberry milk carton
and smiling
a dinosaur wearing a small nightcap
running from a fire-breathing bumblebee
who flitters just behind
two dragons play catch
swooping flying veering left
while a unicorn stands at the right
cheering with a raised foam finger
that wondrous world of imagination
stands up there
just an inch from my reach
slipping from my fingertips
and all I can do is gaze
with longing eyes
at a world I will never be
a part of
the sharp blades of grass
reach up and furl around
my arms my legs my neck
pulling down down down
until I am swallowed once again
into the reality
of this world
and all the while,
the pale wisps of fluff
up there in the sky
clump together
to create a land of enchantment
free from responsibility
far out of my reach
Sculpture Garden
when you look at me
you wouldn’t think
I’m all that much
you’ll see a rough surface
dulled scarred gray
remaining here in a
permanently hunched over state
what a nice statue, how do you do?
is what I hope
you would say to me
but you never
will
you might sit by me there on the grass
where the weeds curl up around my legs as
the purple flowers put on a show for us
dancing to the soft tune
of birds
slowly twirling as the wind
carries them gently towards the ground
but then you will leave
you will always leave
the leaves too will depart
in a rainstorm of orange and red
the sun will leave and plunge
the world into the gloom of the night
the flowers will droop their heads
as gusts of wind rush past
and the rain pours
as the warm embrace of the summer sun
begins to melt away
and so it will be
all good things will leave
but even so
the warmth will return
the flowers will lift their smiling faces
towards the returning sun
that great ball of fire
launched back into the sky
and the leaves will come back
as an emerald canopy of joy
again and again and again
year after year after year
and so it will be
everything that had left
shall return once more
all except for
you
but here I will remain
hoping that some day you will
come back
and we can sit there on the grass
just like old friends
and talk about life
as the birds sing a new song
and the flowers dance
hoping that this time
you will see something more
than just a statue
when you look at me
Stone Canyon Creek
I see you in all the little things
the bugs crawling along the ground
the soft tufts of cloud in the sky
the rocks that roll across the path
I see you so clearly
in the veins on leaves
the trees that sway in the wind
to the tune that was sung
since the beginning of time
my phone buzzes
my heart drops as I
remember that I have to go
to my math class
and I feel a wave of sadness
because I don’t want to leave
this place
where I can see you so clearly
to return to the responsibilities
of life
the classes I have
the adulting I need to do
the future that I need to consider
because I just want to be here
where
I can see you so clearly
in the butterflies that dance around
the beams of light that peek through the trees
in the grass that gently nudges my legs
in the small sprouts that
will grow to be giant trees
in all these little things
I can see you so clearly
Conclusion
sit still and listen.
do not fear what tomorrow
has in store for you.
for that is tomorrow’s problem
for right now,
sit still and listen.
