Ever wondered what it’s like being a twin in college?
Meet Sydney Herstein and Joseph Shan. Both are Bruins, and both have a twin sibling. Sydney Herstein is a third-year public affairs and sociology student and Joseph Shan is a fourth-year cognitive science student. While Sydney Herstein’s fraternal twin sister, Brooke Herstein, is also a third-year public affairs and sociology student at UCLA, Joseph Shan’s twin brother, Jason Shan, is a fourth-year computer science student at Rice University in Texas. Two different sets of twins, two different college experiences.
Whether you yourself are a twin or you are simply curious about what the experience is like, follow along to gain some insight into college life as a twin.
- What is the relationship between you and your twin like?
Sydney Herstein: My twin sister and I are very close with one another. We are both on a similar academic track, and we also have similar aspirations for each of our futures as both of us plan on attending law school and becoming attorneys. Growing up, we always had a great relationship with one another, and were even in the same friend groups. Even now, we have many friends in common. While we are each part of different clubs and activities on campus, my friends become her friends and hers mine.
Joseph Shan: Before my twin and I were born, the doctor told my mother that we were “probably fraternal.” My mother took his word for it and never had us genetically tested. It’s what she told us growing up, and what we told our friends and acquaintances. People would often comment that we looked similar or call us by the wrong names, but I’ve always thought it was just because they didn’t know us well enough. Admittedly, when we were babies, our physical appearances looked identical. Over time, however, our appearances slowly diverged, until we looked similar but not indistinguishable.
During high school, my oldest brother bought our family DNA testing kits from 23andMe. We spit saliva into test tubes to have our DNA analyzed. Weeks later, we checked our phones to read the analysis results: 23andMe had labeled us as identical.
The results made me think: How much has being raised fraternal impacted me, in comparison to being biologically identical? In general, I think my social reality (of being fraternal) has impacted me more than my actual reality (of being identical).
Aside from our genetic relationship, my twin and I were joined at the hip up until high school: we attended the same summer programs, joined the same school clubs and played the same sports on the same teams. It felt uncomfortable — both in a liberating and constraining way — to do something without him; part of me was defined only in his presence. It was something I had to learn, probably much later than most: how to be alone.
- How often do you see your twin?
Sydney Herstein: I see my twin all the time. Pursuing similar career paths and majors at the same college means that we often have a class or two together each quarter, so we definitely see each other a lot. We have different roommates, and I am very grateful for that since we always end up seeing each other anyway. That being said, our roommates are friends with each other, and we all live in the same building. This living arrangement has been a blast and we’ve formed a big friend group.
Joseph Shan: In person, we see each other over the summer sometimes, but for the rest of the year, we usually see each other on FaceTime through group calls with my two other brothers as well. We like catching up on our lives or playing different video games.
- Do you and your twin have similar personalities?
Sydney Herstein: Yes and no. In some ways, we are very similar but in others, not so much. I’ve been described as a bit more calm than my sister, while she is known for being a bit more high-energy than I am. I think that she is definitely more Type A as she tends to become more stressed than I do, but we are both Type B in the way that we run late for almost everything.
Joseph Shan: We have similar quirks, like our tendencies to line up our nails on our palms when we’re bored or nervous, or to constantly smile and be politely sociable in certain situations. We have our differences as well: he is more outgoing and expressive, and has a more tumultuous sleep schedule.
- Do you and your twin have similar interests?
Sydney Herstein: Entirely, although I think this was also inspired by our family. We both grew up playing tennis and doing the same activities because we enjoyed them, but also because it made the most sense to have both of us enrolled in the same type of activities. So, we always played the same sports, were a part of the same teams and found ourselves interested in similar topics career-wise. In other ways, of course, we have very different interests. Sometimes, we purposely chose different interests just so that we could each have our own ‘thing,’ but it was always something each of us were interested in independently.
Joseph Shan: We enjoy doing escape rooms. We both like eating sushi, playing couch co-op games together, listening to pop music and sleeping. He, however, is a computer science major, while I’m in cognitive science. I enjoy reading and writing, and he enjoys coding. Our career motivations, however, both stem from desires to ultimately have a positive social impact.
- How has being a twin impacted you?
Sydney Herstein: I think my life would be completely different if I weren’t born a twin. Truthfully, I never know how to accurately answer this question since I don’t know what it’s like to not be a twin. My sister and I don’t have any other siblings either (unless you count our dog), so it has always just been us two. Growing up, we were automatically best friends, and this has only proven to be true throughout our lives. Ultimately, being a twin has impacted so many aspects of my life and who I am.
Joseph Shan: Being a twin — as one of my professors called it — is “uncanny.” In a world where people preach how everyone is different and unique, it’s an odd feeling to see someone who really isn’t so. The biggest impact is that it makes you reflect on yourself; who you could’ve been, and who you are now — these differences caused by what seem to be the smallest reasons.
- Are there any difficulties in being a twin?
Sydney Herstein: Honestly, not really. But if I had to choose one thing, I would say that sometimes our lives might be a bit too similar. Being a twin at the same school with similar interests and friends means that there is a great deal of overlap in our day-to-day lives. But I don’t think this is a negative thing at all. In fact, I think it adds to my college and life experiences. One slightly annoying thing is shopping. We have similar fashion tastes, so we often find ourselves having to decide who gets to buy a shirt when we both want it. On the rare occasion that we both buy the same thing, we sometimes coincidentally end up wearing it on the same day.
In reality, the only truly annoying thing is when people can’t tell my sister and I apart. I don’t think we look similar to the extent of people not knowing who is who, but it still happens all the time. As kids, we looked wildly different from one another — my six inches of height towering over my sister made most people think I was a few years older than her. But as we matured, our heights leveled out and we are now practically the exact same height, making it even easier for people to confuse us.
Joseph Shan: Mostly the inevitable comparisons. I’ve listened to people talk about which one of us is the “better twin” or which one they’d rather be friends with. It puts you in that mindset of comparing each other, and once you’re in there, it can be hard to get out.
- Is there anything cool/niche about being a twin that most people don’t realize?
Sydney Herstein: I think the best part is having someone who completely understands you. The twin telepathy is real — sometimes we say or do things that are weirdly synchronized. Overall, I love having a twin; it definitely makes life more interesting!
Joseph Shan: Growing up with someone of the same age, born in the same environment and with the same experiences is often very reassuring. If you ever feel lost at sea, at least you know there’s someone else you can always turn to — someone who’s navigating the same waters.
